"April's Fool" a poem by Jess Coffman

I actually wrote this poem on April 1st, 2013 and it's title reflects how I truly felt by the end of the day. That was the day of the Greater Philadelphia Annual Audition, and I had been looking forward to it for months. I had attempted to get an appointment, but had not been given one, so I was going to cross my fingers in line and hope to get seen. In order to audition, you had to have 60 headshots and resumes. This was so, because dozens of local theater companies came to this audition to do pre-casting for their upcoming season. It was a long awaited day for me, because if it was successful, I may finally be able to live and work in the same city as Billy.  At that point, we had only lived in the same city for 3 months out of the past year and I was anxious to be with him.

I had spent the morning at Kinkos, printing out headshots, cutting off that stupid 1 1/2 inches of paper so my resume would fit an 8x10 photo and stapling them all together. I took the time to make sure that everything was perfect, my hair, my voice, my confident yet peppy disposition. I got there in the later afternoon and was nervous, though feeling great. Unfortunately,  I had completely misjudged the thriving theater scene in Philly. Although there was about 2 1/2 hours left of the audition day, they were not allowing any other people to audition. The helpful monitor explained that actors without an appointment had lined up before 9am to get a time to be seen that day. I had missed my chance.

I was pretty devastated and went to Billy's work because it was right around the corner from the theater.
I ordered a "Derby" which is a twist on a Mint Julep, and some tofu buffalo wings. I felt so unaccomplished and sluggish, yet buzzing with unfulfilled energy. I knew that I had to get it out of my body somehow, though I definitely did not feel like exercising because then I would mess up my perfect hair :) So I sat Charlie Brown style at the bar, wrote this poem and ate blue cheese to cure my blues.


April's Fool

All dressed up,
But no one to sing to.
No nervous laughter,
No interested brow raised.
No energy shift,
No inner voice phased.

I had hopes,
To reap what I'd worked for,
A balanced future,
Relief for a crowded mind.
The chance to stick around,
To avoid the grind.

I sit here,
With nothing to drink to.
No satisfaction,
The sting that makes one humble,
Eating blue cheese tears.
Trying not to crumble.

For my "Arrested Development" fans!