"Divided" a poem by Jess Coffman

SHE

You know that overwhelmed, tightening in your heart you live for, at first glance of your approaching lover? 

I have an exacting feeling, a choking squeeze of emotional acid dripping into my stomach. The most potent essence of love burning as it leaks down, collecting in my gut. I lift destruction to my lips, inviting discoloration, tasting every repercussion of my foolish indelicacies.

(The dark leaves in full submission to the wind, 

push and pull against the lavender sky.)

ME

Dirty blues for a soiled soul,

The saxophone soothes the day's rumination, 

That I've once again 

Allowed the Human to coax the Being. 

Everything is strangely calm,

For a summer city night. 

It counters the heavy beat inside,

Revealing clearly that the division, is exclusively internal. 

Love it seems, a wheel of 

Purest hope unfailingly leading to unfulfilled expectations. 

A little is never enough. 

The Patience of my youth running out faster and faster with time. 

SHE

You know who is always silently waving? 

God, in the leaves. 

Disclosing forgotten promises of consistent love, communication and togetherness!

ME

All is known. 

Nature wise with experience of fire threatening existence. 

The ancient redwood, scorched and mangled, looks down on me with knowingness, 

Without judgment. 

She's been gifted a trunk for thousands to love against, and roots to outlast many who defiantly seek truth. 

I revere her and she allows me. 

JESS COFFMAN

The majestic and resilient 2,000 year old Ancient Redwood, thriving in 

Jack London State Historic Park.

"The House by the Side of the Road" a poem by Sam Walter Foss

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
    In the peace of their self-content;
There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart,
    In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths
    Where highways never ran;
But let me live by the side of the road
    And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,
    Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
    As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat,
    Or hurl the cynic's ban;
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
    And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road,
    By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
   The men who are faint with the strife.
But I turn not away form their smiles
        nor their tears -
    Both parts of an infinite plan;
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
    And be a friend to man. 

Let me live in my house by the side of the road
    Where the race of men go by -
They are good, they bad, they are weak,
        they are strong,
    Wise, foolish - so am I. 
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat
    Or hurl the cynic's ban? -
Let me live in my house by the side of the road 
    And be a friend to man. 

SAM WALTER FOSS

The above photo was taken this past Monday August 24th, of this immense crowd in excited anticipation for a public movie event in Byrant Park, NYC. What movie you ask? None other than the first in my favorite trilogy of all time...Back to the Future! I was on a bit of a personal high at the moment, just having danced for 6 hours straight at a music video shoot, essentially right across from Bryant Park. I was exhausted, but that was replaced with immediate childhood remembrance and glee, when I saw the Delorean and Hover Board from the actual movie! But more than that, I was charmed by the fact that an extremely diverse group of New Yorkers, had come to delight in the gorgeous summer twilight together. There was a magical feeling in the air, likened to the innocent and thrilled energy of trick-or-treating on Halloween night as a kid, and the first romantic Fourth of July fireworks display with your lover.

I fell a little bit more in love with New York that night. But our uncommitted love affair is tricky. New York has everything I could possibly want, but withholds from me too. It dangles the possibility of fulfilling all of my dreams, and snatches them away, just as I begin to show traces of a relieving smile. So, I in turn have learned not to put all of my feelings out into the open, in self-preserving protection. Just like every lover, New York City is not perfect. It can shout too loud, be easily angered, invade my space, take up way too much personal time, put up endless walls and be overwhelmingly hard to weather. But all of that, makes those fleeting moments of surprising generosity, compassion and love, glitter like the stinging sun flitting on the East River. New York City at times may feel like an abusive lover. But I always come back because I am hopelessly drawn to intense passion, uninhibited creativity, endless motivation and a push to be one's best self. Maybe someday, I'll end up with a good ole' Midwestern city, where life is constant, predictable and calm, where I don't fear getting old or being forgotten. But for now, I'm unabashedly drawn to the bad ass. Like Bill Withers said, "I'm gonna spread the news, that if it feels this good getting used, Well you just keep on using me...until you use me up." I love you, New York. 

With Unstoppable Passion,

Your Jess

"Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day" a poem by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Though art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE


I would not take it as a compliment if an admirer compared me to a New York summer's day in August. You know that kind of humid heat that makes the insides of your elbows sweat, as you wait 15 minutes on a Saturday for the train to ooze its way up to your stop. Luckily, now I live off of a subway stop that is above ground. But summertime Washington Heights...was swamp ass city. And with this mouth... one probably would compare me to a New York summer's day.

Actually today, it was beautiful in New York, and because I had the day off, I went for a run. Believe me, it was still totally sticky and hot. But I was all in, uninhibited even by a shirt, and ready for a nature adventure. You see, when I see things growing, I see God. I literally ran into the Socrates Sculpture Park, some soft green hydrangea nodded at me, and I said "Oh hey God...so this is where you are hiding in Astoria!" Next time you meet me, ask me about the "Pink Floyd-Palm Tree-God" sighting while I was doing Yoga at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. God actually waved to me via a palm tree, that I saw upside down through my legs...while I was doing downward facing dog. That's pretty much the whole story, and it was the first of many stories of God saying "Surprise, here I am Jess!" mainly through trees. But, God has said "What's Up?!" through waves, butterflies, and today a handful of flowers.

Anyway, now that you think I'm totally a hippie granola walnut job, I'll get back to my day. So after the hydrangea and I had our moment, I walked around thrilled to be there, and admired the durable installations in the park. There was this amazing piece called the "Living Pyramid," created by Agnes Denes. Each level of the pyramid's outside edge is composed of garden boxes, and each box contains flowers and grasses. It definitely doesn't look like it was designed by a landscaper. The flowers seem to be fortuitously planted and the grasses are on a spectrum from dead to alive, and overgrown. But I loved it. I love when architecture and nature can come together, because they seem to be mutually exclusive to me, especially in a place like New York City. One thing I learned from performing and living in Northern California this summer is, that I want to eventually settle down in a place that has more trees than buildings...and more trees than people.

However, I did meet a lovely person today named Rebecca. We were both singles looking to take advantage of free kayaking on the East River today! The little beach is small and misshapen, and completely missable, had I not decided to hang a left on my run outside of the Socrates Sculpture Park. Rebecca (an only child from New Jersey with a fancy editor job in Manhattan) had been waiting as a "single rider" for awhile, until I hopped my drippy sunscreen strewn body, upfront with her in the kayak. Although, I was eager to encounter God again on the water alone, I shrugged off the hoped for inspiring alone time, and decided to enjoy the 20 minutes with Rebecca. We had a lovely chat. Though at one point, we rode up to the corner of a building along the shore to admire the amazing metal sculptures, when a ferocious unleashed guard dog surprised us with terrifyingly threatening barks. It wouldn't have been so scary, except that there wasn't a fence surrounding the building, and the dog came right up to the corner edge of the dock. Being only a few feet below the barking beast, we both screamed because we were so surprised. There were a few torturous moments when we scrambled to get our bearings, and couldn't seem to paddle ourselves away. But eventually we did, and then we laughed together.

It was truly a beautiful moment exchanged between two single women trying to chase their dreams in New York City...and play a little too.

Even though I assume Shakespeare's above poem is meant to reveal romantic admiration for a lover, I would like to dedicate this poem platonically to Rebecca in Astoria today. Thank-you for being a "single rider," who was both lovely and temperate. And when "fair from fair sometime declines," hopefully we won't be "single riders" anymore, and I will still be grateful for our life-giving adventure together today. Rebecca, I shall compare thee to this beautiful New York summer's day.


Peace, Love and Smiles,

Jess