I come into this space
divided and discontented,
But my rebellious heart cannot reject the
willful calm from our creator.
The sun pours through the humble windows
filling the humble room with her light.
And as the clouds come to cover the
sun, it only illuminates the love on the
faces of those in the room.
The quiet call of the hearts,
the various degrees of illumination hidden.
A strong consistent glow,
an unshakable flow,
and the frazzled flickering light
of mine, un-singing next to them.
Before my brain can intellectualize and analyze
everything,
My hips,
vulnerable to the music,
involuntarily begin to slightly sway.
My body always responds first.
These unknown family members
open their mouths and un-peel
a layer of distance,
inviting me into their embrace
unintentionally.
Past grief from past grief
begins to rain inside of me.
A storm, unlike a violent torrent,
But like a warm cleansing and consistent rain.
The stark light softens
and shade is given under fluffy clouds of shielding.
An invitation to rest, to calm the chest
and plant the feet.
The offer to contribute right now,
right where I am.
to add a singular piece of string
or small stick to the nest
of another displaced winged thing looking for respite.
The offer to share in everything that is gifted.
food for the mouth. life by the mouth.
the resurrection of a dying light,
from shattered and scattered belonging.
The extension of a clean hand to
tend to my wounds, not to point them out
or continure to rip at the healing.
But to look at all of me and declare
a celebration that I am here, that
I have finally come to dinner.
That I have finally come to fill the empty seat,
that has been reserved and waiting for me.
surrounded by smiles of purity and unconditional love,
each smile
transfers a bright and clean bolt of lightening
to my irregularly beating heart.
Each hand extended, provides the cushion
for which to rest my head, to soften the
severity of confusion and confliction.
They do this with the simplicity
of their honest conviction.
The rainstorm softens my edges.
My thirsty soul is bathed.
My shoulders fall.
I breathe in waves of velvety-calm-periwinkle-richness.
The rain pouring and pouring and pouring in me
creating an ocean,
for my hurt and disconnection to
be buoyant. not dried and stuck,
but watered with grace, loosening, and rising up.
Only God will tell how and when these ships
of darkness, will forever be dismantled
and carefully removed.
Until then, I will allow my hips to sway in worship,
and give movement to the ocean inside.
May there always be a seeking
of calm seas, but never a stagnant
stillness.
As my body responds to this beauty,
I pray for my lips to ready themselves
for the day of unlocking,
when I will speak unendingly of
this kindness shown and felt.
May we follow the call, ever creative and
open.
May we offer smiles that stimulate and
resuscitate a heart back to
everlasting light.
To soften the starkness
and illuminate a path,
to be a hand to hold if asked, along
the way.
May we give like the love of family,
And hold like the Grace of God.
JESS COFFMAN
I am incredibly grateful to the beautiful strangers at Trinity Grace Church in Williamsburg, who shared their gifts of openness and love with me. Thank-you for inspiring this poem, and for inviting me into your affectionate family. I am excited to get to know you. You melted my heart into a slightly burnt grilled cheese sandwich, and I am delighted to sit at your table and share it with you.
Your Jess
