"Don't Quit" a poem by an Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;

When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;

And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

ANONYMOUS

This was a bit of honest graffiti that I captured and loved.
It was written on a shiny white wall tile, at a subway stop, in NYC.

Hello Friends!

I received a stunningly beautiful email from my boyfriend's father this week, that included the inspiring poem above.

I must confess, it inspired me to officially finish my degree, find some better health insurance and find a cost effective way to learn once and for all how to play the piano! I think his email and this poem hit me so hard because, he is not one to waste words. He is absolutely one of those quiet, contented, classic men who doesn't say a whole lot, but when he does have something to say...it's epic and the law!

His parents have lovingly taken me in for countless holidays and I have been both curious and appreciative of how different they are from my family. Not that I don't love my family deeply. I adore them for their passion, independence, perseverance, hard-work, unconventional and unconditional love. But, we are a complicated bunch. 

My boyfriend grew up basically in "the sweetest place on earth," Hershey, PA, and is quite possibly one of the sweetest men on earth.  His parents have been married for 36 years, and they live in the same beautiful house that Billy grew up in. They have worked hard separately and together to pursue their dreams and I have admired them greatly for it. I have often poked and prodded them over the years for financial and relationship advice, in order to hopefully have the same success one day in my own life. They have offered pebbles of rock-solid advise over the years, but mainly they respect our privacy and have faith in our artistic and relationship progress. This is often a wonderful relief, because my family can have a heavy "hands-on" approach to helping out emotionally and financially.

But I was especially touched by his somewhat strongly and lovingly written email, it was so out of character and so more along the lines of love, that I am used to. It was direct and encouraging but basically told us that if we are really going to get anywhere in our careers, we better stop half-assing it! I write this with a smile thinking about my boyfriend's Dad. He is a man of few words who chose to share some with me, and they happened to be exactly what I needed to hear.

He ended his epic email with this quote, which I will also choose to end with.

"If better is possible, good is not good enough." (Author Unknown)

Good luck kicking ass and being your best today!

Peace and Love,

Jess

I took this photo outside of the Hershey store in Times Square a few weeks back. I love how it ties the whole article together, (Billy's family being from Hershey, PA that is). There was sidewalk construction work going on that of course was making me and everyone else annoyed. But as I walked by, my frustration melted like a Hershey's kiss, when I saw that the construction company had turned an inconvenience into sweet and inspiring art! Way to go Paladino Construction, you just made the world a better place!

Poetry of Life: 8 Ways to Boost Your Self-Worth on a Thursday!

1. Write Down at least 10 things that you love about yourself. 

With this exercise, try at least 3 specific things that you like about yourself physically, and 7 specific things you like about your personality. As you start to brainstorm these things that you love about yourself, a little "Negative Nancy/Norm" voice in your head may start to spew unkind feedback, such as "Your butt isn't that cute, since you have stopped going to the gym," or "You're not really a giving person, remember when you completely ignored that homeless man the other day." When that voice starts chatting, recognize that it is there and let your true self tell it to "Fuck off." You do not have to listen to every thought that enters your mind. Not every thought is really looking out for your best interest, some of them are purely destructive. The voice that is making it hard for you to feel comfortable uncovering things you love about yourself, is the same voice that tells you to "take another shot, you can be hungover at work tomorrow," or says "you can totally gossip about your best friend Kristen, she deserves it." That voice is not trying to help you be your best self, it actually gets satisfaction when you are your worst self. It is the voice that greatly contributes to your lack of self-worth. Choose to battle that voice. Right now.

Here is my list:

1. Eyelashes
2. My Good Posture
3. Pretty Nails
4. Affective Communicator
5. Confident          
6. Nurturing
7. Helpful
8. Independent
9. Passionate
10. Spiritually Connected

To be honest, it makes me feel vulnerable to post these things because I don't want anyone to think that I am egotistical. But this list is about celebrating myself, and that is exactly what I want you to do too. Also, some traits might pop up, that you didn't even know you recognized about yourself, it's all good. Let that unexpected love flow out, and simply write down the first 10 things that pop into your head. This is just for you.

2. Now write some short explanations about WHY you love these things about your self.

* Eye Lashes - they are really long, they are really black, they make me feel feminine

* My Good Posture -  its makes me feel graceful, unique and like a dancer

* Affective Communicator - I have meaningful and deep relationships with others, I avoid fights, I am able to make my expectations known clearly

* Confident - I feel grounded in myself, interviews/auditions are less stressful, it helps me trust my choices.

3. Now write down some ways in which you could enhance/highlight these things in your life. 

* Pretty Nails - Go get a mani/pedi or treat yourself to nice lotion.

* Nurturing - Play with your dog or a friends dog, offer to babysit your niece, write your best friend Kristen a supportive email

* Helpful - Offer to buy that neglected homeless man a toiletry/his favorite candy, agree to drive your sister to the airport

* Independent - Go for walk/drive alone, take yourself to lunch or a movie

4. Write Down 5 Talents/Gifts that you are proud of or grateful for. 

* I am proud of being a good performer.
* I am proud that I can write poetry that connects me to others.
* I am proud to be a good leader.
* I am proud to be a driven person.
* I am proud to be a positive person.

5. Now write down at least one thing you can do to highlight/enhance each of those Talents/Gifts.

* Performer - I can go take a dance class or warm up my voice

*  Poet - I can post a poem on my blog or read Poe's "Annabel Lee" like I've been wanting to

* Leader - I can be extra patient when I am babysitting and a great listener

6. Write down 5 of your favorite things! 

* Independent Coffee Shops
* Walks/Hikes in Nature
* Jazz Music
* Trying New Food
* Travel

7. You guessed it! Write down at least 1 way that you could add more of your Favorite Things to your life. 

* Independent Coffee Shops - Go to Indian Road Cafe for a almond milk Latte!

* Walks/Hikes in Nature -  Hiking trails in Inwood Park, take a run along the Hudson river

* Jazz Music - Check out the free afternoon jazz piano concerts in Bryant Park or Cleopatra's Needle 

* Trying New Food - Go to Astoria for Greek Food, Hell's Kitchen for Ethiopian, The Heights for Dominican

* Travel - Go Apple Picking in the Catskills or even the Bronx Zoo!

8. Lastly, write down 10 things you are grateful for.

1. The good health and love of my parents and sisters
2. September weather in NYC
3. My personal good health
4. Billy's beautiful paintings that fill our apartment
5. Billy's love
6. My amazing girlfriends
7. My Grammy V.
8. My freedom
9. Our lovely apartment
10. You, for reading this!

So... lets recap, you have now discovered:

* 10 things you love about yourself and why 
* 5 Talents/Gifts that you are proud of about yourself
* 5 of your Favorite Things in the whole world 
* 10 things you are grateful for

That adds up to be 30 things that are awesome about you! You have SO many unique things about yourself and your life to feel worthy about and grateful for. The challenge now is to consciously keep them at the forefront of your mind. Don't let that destructive voice get you down, and choose not to listen to that voice that is within others as well.

Be bold, be brave and love yourself. You are worth it!

Peace and Love,

Jess

"Billy" a poem by Jess Coffman

His smile is like sunshine.
It warms everyone from the outside, in.
His cheeks glow pink, with specks of gold,
Topped with flecks of espresso freckles.
His honey hazel eyes,
Clear, bright and contented.  
And when surrounded with black-rimmed glasses,
He's my ideal romantic lead in an Indie film.

There is a constant Flow,
Of positive energy that powers his body,
Which is why he is so lean, I think.
His arms are strong,
From the support he gives to the ones he loves.
He is the most loyal man I know.

But his unfailing strength lies in his core.
The very center of him
Is grounded in peace and presence.
He lets everything go,
With a unique brand of patience that is unparalleled.

He's great with his hands.
They can be so quick and unrevealing,
Or so still and firm, when he holds mine.
It's not a surprise that he has the precision of a chef,
The passion of a painter,
And the playfulness of a juggler.
Those hands gently throw and catch
My heart, desires, happiness and fears
With such ease and focused care.  

His hair is dark chocolate brown
With a smattering of grey over his ears.
He thinks it ages him prematurely,
But I love it.
Those ears are always listening,
And his mouth holds back all impatient words
Behind sexy cushioned lips.
But when he does speak,
It is always kind. 

A familiar song begins to play,
My favorite singer in fact.
And my heart expands,
As I realize he has played it, for my inspiration.
I watch him flit behind the bar,
And when he feels my gaze,
He blows me a kiss.
And I sink in my seat wondering,
How I could want anything more than this?

JESS COFFMAN

Hey Friends!

I wrote this poem while taking in all that is beautiful and lovely about my boyfriend Billy. I had been away from NYC performing in a production of "Mary Poppins" with the Alabama Shakespeare Festival, for nine weeks. Sweet Billy, picked me up at the airport on a Monday afternoon when I arrived, and we had 2 full days of bliss, before he had to leave to go to work on Wednesday afternoon. That night, I ended up stopping into the coffee shop/bar where he works because I missed him, and because I hadn't seen his new job yet. After he shared his short break with me, I sat in the furthest corner of the room from him, and admired him as he worked. Its amazing when you get the chance to see someone you love with new eyes, which is precisely what led to the inspiration of this poem. At the end of the poem, I came out of my bubble of perfection that I was seeing him in, and saw him for who he really is, a beautiful and excellently made creation that is not in fact, perfect. And who may not even be perfect for me. But the truth is, other than our blood related family, as adults and individuals, we get the chance to choose who we love, and I choose to love him everyday. He gives me the freedom, love, support and patience to be on my own path, and I give him the same. I feel blessed to wake up everyday with Billy as a gift by my side. 

As always, thanks for reading!

Best,

Jess

P.S. The picture above, is of Billy blowing me away, as he plays Elton John's "Rocket Man" on guitar for me. He played, and I sang, and it was one of the most beautiful moments we've ever shared.

"When you can't get out...you might as well get in" a poem by Jess Coffman

On an August day,
In the southern heat,
I wallowed in my weakness,
And prayed to the Lord to wipe my heart clean,

Of past regrets, The lovers I've kept, 
And worries of the future unseen.
Cause I didn't feel alive,
And my light wasn't shining.

    In the Montgomery sky,
    The sun closed its eye,
    And the thunder clouds bullied in singing…
    If you can't get out, you might as well get in.

        If you can't get out, you might as well get in,
        Let the rain beat down on your face,
        Let it carry away every worry, every fear and disgrace.
        For a new life to begin,
        When you can't get out, you might as well get in.

I stood there soaked with my fears uncloaked,
And an eagerness for Mercy,
As the lightening struck inches
from my body.

I prayed to the present to keep me safe,
To shake me up and restore my faith,
Cause I was sick of feeling stuck,
And running out of luck.

    With my eyes closed tight,
    I saw the light, and felt it pierce through my chest singin...
    If you can't get out, you might as well get in.

        If you can't get out, you might as well get in,
        Let the rain beat down on your face.
        Let it carry away every worry, every fear and disgrace.
        For a new life to begin,
        When you can't get out, you might as well get in.

The heavy unrest, left my chest,
And I knew my prayers were granted.
Then I danced among the danger,
And the peace of this new moment.

Drenched in love, and filled with hope,
I was overcome with laughter.
Excited for the nameless,
Not fearing for the future.
   
    I stood there bare
    With my palms in the air,
    As a miracle came true singin…
    If you can't get out, you might as well get in.

        If you can't get out, you might as well get in,
        Let the rain beat down on your face,
        Let it carry away every worry, every fear and disgrace.
        For a new life to begin,
        When you can't get out, you might as well get in.
               
            When you ask for joy,
            you never know the shape that it will take,
            So you might as well be ready,
            And never question why,
           
            The storm of change is coming,
            So save a little light inside,
            When your struggles seem unending,
            Know this moment always passes by.

     In the Montgomery sky
    The sun winked her eye,
    And the thunder clouds searched on singin...   
    If you can't get out, you might as well get in.
       
        If you can't get out, you might as well get in,
        Let the rain beat down on your face,
        Let it carry away every worry, every fear and disgrace.
        For a new life to begin,
        When you can't get out, you might as well get in.
        When you can't get out, you might as well get in.

       

"Little Present Poem" a poem by Jess Coffman

Sun reaching for my face,

Ants dodging with erratic pace,
Webs are glinting on the Grass,
my eyelids close with Peace.

I am alive, when I am alone,
when incessant chatter and gripes are gone,
when no one asks me what is the matter,
and I don't worry myself at all. 

I'm here for the Spiders who bite my feet,
to admire the wild Horse's mane.
I can sit with the Rocks, and stand with the Trees,
I know with certainty, we're One and the same.

I am not meant, for four white walls,
I need open space, for Present flight.
I sway to Cicadas' wrenching lull
sewing sound into the thickness.

I sit here still. not a frustrated lover, 
not future-fogged, not woman at all.
I'm just here...Being 
like the Sticks and the Leaves.
nothing barer.
nothing better.

JESS COFFMAN

Hello Friends!

This poem and these photos were conceived in an up-and-coming green community called Hampstead, within Montgomery, AL. Alice Sherman, my long-time friend and fellow performer (currently starring as "Mary Poppins" in our production) told me of a great restaurant/bar called The Tipping Point, in Hampstead. Being a Malcolm Gladwell fan, and well as a huge craft beer fan, (thanks to Billy Kametz) The Tipping Point sounded like an amazing choice for a day-off brew. I drove out around dusk, which is my absolute favorite time of day, and was so excited to find this unique sustainable housing and community in Montgomery. As much as I love BBQ joints and Waffle Houses, Montgomery seems to be lacking, when it comes to independently owed, well maintained, unique and delicious cuisine. So, I was thrilled when I arrived to see that my above wish was coming true with the Tipping Point. And in the same breath, bummed, when I discovered that it was indeed closed on Mondays, and I was not able to fulfill my sustainable dreams, at least for that day.

I am actually so grateful that it was closed, because it caused me to do a little exploring around Hampstead. Right behind The Tipping Point was an unfinished gravel road, and further beyond, an adorable red barn and silo that read "Hampstead Farms." Alongside this gravel road were a couple of horses grazing. As I looked around, and crept closer to them, I realized that they must be wild. I had never seen wild horses before, it was exhilarating! Their manes were a bit tattered, further confirming that they were never brushed or confined, and I found myself reverent for their peace and freedom. I was also slightly afraid, because although they didn't block the gravel path to get to the farm,  I would have to cross them and have my back to them as I walked (or ran for my life) the lengthy road to get the the farm. I considered driving my car down the road, because then at least I would have a physical barrier to protect me from the wild horses. But it is a rental, and I was nervous that something might happen to the car due to the unfinished road, so I decided to put my body in potential danger instead!
The horses were about 50 feet away from me further up the road, though in the grass, and seemingly unaware of me at that distance. As I inched forward up the road, the dominant horse began to notice me, though continuing to graze. When I was about 20 feet away from the horses, and in direct line with them, the dominant horse, faced me and deliberately kept it's eyes on me for several minutes, while eating. I kept my eyes on him/her as well, and with loving energy stayed still. Much to my surprise,  a few minutes later, I began to walk up the road without worry that I would be surprise-trampled from behind. It wasn't until I reached the farm, that I realized what a an amazingly, unprecedented, energetic moment I had just experienced. I basically communicated peace, curiosity and patience, to which the wild horse, after careful consideration, believed me, and let me pass without fear. It was beautiful. I wouldn't recommend trying this communication in the presence of wild carnivorous animals. I think part of this experience was due to the fact that horses in general are not trying to eat humans, and because I did not attempt to touch them or invade their close personal space in anyway. But it was absolutely an experience, that connected me to my primordial side, and my instincts took over. I communicated with another animal, it was fascinating and exhilarating.

After I trespassed on the adorable farm and captured this special moment below...

I sat down on a wooden bench, facing the setting sun, and with gratitude and an open heart, wrote "Little Present Poem."

Thank-you for reading!

As always...Spread the love!

Jess

Poetry of Lovers: 8 Tips On How to Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship!

I am currently rehearsing with and enjoying a very lovely cast of performers in Disney's "Mary Poppins" at The Alabama Shakespeare Festival. While getting to know these especially wonderful people, I was surprised to find that most members of the cast were in relationships with other theater performers. I was also personally relieved and thrilled to learn that in my presence there were concrete stories of performer couples that had managed to successfully find the balance between their work life and their love life. This balance was not achieved to a small degree or for the short term. There are several people in my cast who have been on Broadway or toured all over the world performing, that have been married or with their long time partner for over 20 years.

One of the most difficult aspects of our job as performers, is that many of the relatively good jobs take you far away from your home and your relationship. Billy and I have been apart because of performance gigs, a little under half of our three-year relationship. It is obviously not ideal, and we have gone through waves of it being easier or harder depending on the length of the gig, or time of year. But, it always surprises me when I hear people with jobs in different industries say that they could never be in a long distance relationship. So, I decided to reach out to my new friends in the cast for some tips on how to stay connected and romantic while loving long distance!

Obviously with all of this advice, season to taste! Not one relationship is exactly like another. But a happy long distance relationship does require both partners to consistently work at it. It doesn't have to be hard work, but it does require forethought, time and a willingness to try new ways of communicating and loving to make the relationship work in each new situation.

8 Tips on How to Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship!

 

1. Schedule times to Skype!

Skype and Facetime are one of the most wonderful tools for loving long distance. It is really the only way to see your mate without them being in your presence. But sometimes our busy schedules apart, make it difficult to find the time for quality time communication. A few people in my cast said that they schedule times to Skype/Facetime their loved one in order to ensure that it happens. A few couples schedule time weekly to Skype and watch one of their favorite shows at the same time on Netflix together! If you do have to break plans for a Skype date, be sure to give plenty of notification and suggest another time that you will be available to see your lover. All you really have is your word when you are long distance, so communicate often and be consistent. A sexy Skype session is always a great way to stay intimately connected as well!

2. Be where you are!

I asked a woman in our cast how she had managed to have such a happy 30-year marriage and successful career. She said to me simply, "Be where you are." It reminded me of the Crosby Stills and Nash lyrics "If you can't be with the one you Love, Love the one you're with." She explained to me that it doesn't help either person in the situation, if one or both of you is constantly pining for what you don't have. Hopefully you have made the choice to be apart, for a reason that is beneficial for you. Be productive and enjoy your new adventure. If you are happy, it makes being apart worthwhile.

3. It all about the little things, don't leave anything out!

A brilliantly talented woman in our cast who has been married for over 20 years to her actor husband, gave me the above tip, which I absolutely love. She said that when you are on a new adventure, it is imperative to tell your love the exciting, as well as the mundane details of your daily experiences. Share names and details about the new people you are working with. Share stories and inside jokes that have formed with your new friends. Tell your love everything about the cool bars and restaurants that you are going to and the beauty of your new environment. I have found that when my boyfriend shares all of the little details of his daily life with me, I no longer feel "left out" of his life even though we are physically apart. It is definitely a trust building habit, it prevents jealousy, and overall adds a cushion of comfort to your long distance situation.

4. Text All Day Long!

A few people in our cast said that they text all day long with their love. This is another way of keeping up with all of the little things in a day. It is a great way of communicating that doesn't require having a long solid block of time available to talk on the phone or Skype. I find that when Billy and I text often in a day, our relationship feels like it did when we were first dating. A text saying "It's beautiful out today and I wish we could play outside" or "I'm really missing you today," lets me know that he is thinking of me, which makes me feel very loved. You should also try flirty or sexy texts for fun!

5. Write Each Other Love Letters!

One man who has been with his husband for 23 years, told me that before technology made it so easy for us to stay connected long distance, he and his partner wrote letters to each other everyday while they were apart. It is still a tradition that they keep up today! A few of the younger men in the cast agreed that letter writing was better than emailing. Being someone who loves poetry and the written word, there is almost nothing better than words of love, romance or kindness being expressed to me. There is definitely something more beautiful and emotional about seeing your loved one's handwriting on the page, rather than receiving generic text in an email. I also think there is something romantic about touching a piece of paper or card that your lover also touched, when he was thinking of you, and writing to let you know.

6. Six weeks is the Max!

Many of my cast mates said that they have an agreement in their relationship about the maximum number of weeks that they can go without seeing one another in person. One man said that he and his actor husband have an agreement that if they are not committed to being onstage, they are committed to traveling to see the other person. I know for myself, I start to feel disconnected and funky around the 3-6 week mark, so accepting a job for me also means considering what it will cost for my love to come visit. It may mean that I am not able to eat out as much, or have that second margarita, but none of those things matter when I know I will be holding Billy soon.

7. Be prepared to show your love in a new way!

If you have read "The Five Love Languages, this tip will be a little clearer for you. If you are someone who naturally shows your love for your partner primarily through physical affection or acts of service, or if you are someone who feels loved primarily through either of those two ways, being long distant may require you to use a different love language. Luckily words of affirmation, gift giving and quality time (via Skype) are wonderful alternatives to showing or experiencing love with your partner. Just be aware that you may have to work extra hard to show your love through a different love language that may not come naturally to you. If you usually cuddle with her or do the dishes to show that you love her, obviously those things are impossible when you are apart. Ask your loved one how you can best take care of their needs while you are apart, and then get out of your comfort zone and see what works! Be flexible, be creative and have fun!

8. Love and Trust!

I know from experience, it is easy to worry about your relationship when you are apart. I am unfortunately someone who is prone to jealousy, so if let it, my mind can create all kinds of delusions as to why Billy hasn't returned my call. If I let my personal insecurities and fears of losing him consume me, I end up unhappy, and usually an unwanted argument ensues when we finally do chat. Studies show that 80-90 percent of what we worry about never happens, and as it stands Billy has never betrayed my trust with another woman, or been struck by lightening! So allow yourself to love and trust while you are long distant, because allowing yourself to be overtaken with worry and negativity, will never allow you or your relationship to thrive.

Thank-you for reading! Thank-you to all of the delightful cast members of "Mary Poppins" who contributed to this post!

Spread the love!

Jess

Poetry of Lovers: 8 Simple Ways to Please Your Lover on a Wednesday!

I am tinkering with the idea of writing a book on romance. Now I know that there are many books on romance. But as a poet and therefore super-romantic, my goal for the book, would be to help those less vulnerable and more pragmatic individuals learn how to soften up and romantically please their mate.

Here are 8 easy romantic ideas, sure to please your lover!

1. Send your lover an unexpected compliment via text, preferably one that you don't say all of the time. It will be a pleasant surprise and sure to boost a low point in their day.

2. Send your lover a short video wishing them a good day at work. You can quickly and easily film yourself on your smart phone and send it right over. Feel free to send something short and sweet or wildly creative.

3. Write a love letter for your lover and hide it somewhere where they will find it, when the two of you are apart. Put a love note in her bag, or write it for him on the bathroom mirror when its all steamy, so that when he takes a shower later, the words "I love you," magically appear!

4. I'm Italian, so I believe nothing is better than a special meal made with love. Try cooking her/his favorite breakfast food or maybe recreate the meal you had on your first date. For my lover and I, it would be steak with "first-date sauce" and brussel sprouts. If you are not comfortable cooking, its okay! The effort you put in to look up a recipe and prepare a meal for sentimental value will gain major points. Even if the meal doesn't turn out so cute, you hopefully will have learned something about cooking and your lover will be so appreciative. Feel free to order take-out afterword if necessary!

5. Experience beauty in nature! Regardless of where you live or what season you are in, it is possible to find beauty and fun in nature. Take a walk, drive or hike to his/her favorite nature spot, admire the beauty in nature and admire your lovers beauty as well. Compliments are always welcome!

6. Recreate one of their favorite childhood memories, often times our personal romantic ideals, come from something beautiful that we experienced in childhood. In my life, I love finding hidden notes because my Mom used to hide love notes for me in my lunch bag. I also love being woken up for an adventure before the sun rises, because my Dad used to wake me up when it was still dark outside, to get donuts with him. Both unique experiences made me feel so special and loved. I can't think of anything more loving that my lover recreating what I first experienced love to be in life.

7. When you and your lover are alone together, give him/her a compliment that only you would know. It shows that you are paying attention, and possibly exposing something about themselves that they never considered to be adorable. For example: his childlike excitement for french bulldogs, the way she twitches as she drifts off to sleep, the way he flexes his biceps anytime you grab his arm or her beautiful bare back.

8. Tiny gifts, can be a huge gift for the heart! I am a firm believer that you don't have to spend huge amounts of money to be romantic. Tiny gifts that spark you and your lover to reminisce about great pastimes are wonderful! When my lover and I first started dating while performing for Disney Cruise Lines, we really learned how to enjoy simple pleasures. Back in those days, we would finish our shows, enjoy separate "beer showers," which is where you drink a beer in the shower, and then sneak Cup of Noodles back to my room from the crew mess. If I came home late from catering, and he had purchased my favorite beer so I could have a "beer shower," and then surprised me afterward with Cup of Noodles, I would be thrilled! But...if he happened to remember that I put chili paste, vinegar and soy sauce in my Cup of Noodles back in those ship days, and had bought those items too, I would probably cry. Sometimes the most romantic gestures are in the smallest of details.

Please let me know what you think of these ideas. If you have any personal romantic stories/ideas that you would like to share, please post or message them as well! Spread the love!

"The Shedding" a poem by Jess Coffman

Tough little skin,
Tough little smile, 

Tough little thoughts,

Tough little tears,     

Tough little heart. 

Lovely little skin,
Lovely little smile,
Lovely little thoughts, 
Lovely little tears,
Lovely little heart. 

Longing little skin, 

Longing little smile,

Longing little thoughts, 

Longing little tears,

Longing little heart. 

Lonely little skin,

Lonely little smile,

Lonely little thoughts,

Lonely little tears,

Lonely little heart. 

Shedding little skin, 

Shedding little smile,

Shedding little thoughts, 

Shedding little tears,

Shedding little heart.

 

Empty little skin,

Empty little smile,

Empty little thoughts, 

Empty little tears,               

Empty little heart.

Fragile little skin,

Fragile little Smile,

Fragile little thoughts,

Fragile little tears,

Fragile little heart.

JESS COFFMAN

I realize that these pictures may be super gross to some of you, and possibly super interesting to the rest of you. I have never given much thought to the idea that certain animals moult, but recently I have become fascinated with it. I wrote this poem when I was in a very confused and depressed place, which I seem to be coming out of. But because I didn't want anyone to worry, I held off posting this poem until my mind was at peace. For about the past two months, I believe that I have been moulting. Yes, I did just say that, but just stay with me for a few more minutes. I think it is a perfectly natural phenomenon experienced by humans emotionally and animals physiologically. 

I had my 29th birthday about 2 months ago, which I wasn't particularly nervous or excited about. My sweet boyfriend celebrated with me before he went out of town for a five week gig, and I threw myself a small birthday dinner on my actual birthday. And then, like some crazy stereotypical clockwork, I began to wig out. I blamed it on switching my birth control, on my boyfriend being out of town, on my boyfriend not being the right guy for me, on catering to "the living rich" while being "the living poor" and on hating New York. But none of those worries previously had conjured up the intense emotional shift I suddenly began experiencing. Overnight, I was unsatisfied with my life. I was sick of my boyish clothes, of being a starving artist and I became obsessed with the fear that I was not a part of an actual "adult" relationship. I could feel myself outgrowing my current life, and it felt as though I did not have any control over the change I was experiencing.

On a desperate Tuesday morning, I began to write this poem at my favorite place in New York, The Heather Garden. It is located in Fort Tryon Park, a place so beautiful and inspiring to me, it has become a place of refuge and sanctuary. It is never crowded, it is always peaceful, and my spot overlooking the Hudson and G.W. bridge is always open for me. Upon finishing "The Shedding," and rereading the rather emo words, I randomly began to think of a snake and how a snake sheds its former self quite naturally, so it can grow. And with much relief, I realized that that was exactly what I was feeling emotionally. I was shedding my "girlhood" and mourning the loss of it. At the same time, I was feeling scared about my future, and the realization that the time had come for me to really become a woman. 

What I learned about moulting, was so important to me because it made me feel as though what I was experiencing was completely natural. For humans, it's called a mid-life crisis. For spiders, snakes,  lizards and hermit crabs, its called moulting. And because I am not quite mid-life, nor do I want the negative connotation, I'm likening myself to a maturing female spider instead. Just so you know, I am writing this with a smile on my face, because I know it sounds kind-of ridiculous, even though it is a perfect explanation for how I feel. 

This whole change began with me becoming very anti-social. I convinced myself that I was just getting in a fare dose of "alone time," but truly I was distancing myself from the outside world. I also decided to eat a vegan, no preservatives, gluten-free diet, at this same time, which didn't seem to be connected in any way. However, when I looked up moulting, I saw that in arachnids, they often become reclusive and fast for a long period of time before a moult. Once the old self is shed, the spider's new body is vulnerable and fragile for a short time, so it can grow to it's new potential. When all of the possible growth has occurred for this stage of the spider's life, then the new exoskeleton will harden. The other fascinating fact to me was that male spiders tend to mature quickly and have less moults in the course of its life time, whereas female spiders moult more and consequently grow larger than male spiders before she reaches full maturity.

This experience has reminded me that I am connected  to every living thing on this planet, and sometimes the answers to life's questions are found when looking to our ancestors in nature. Now that I feel kindred and absolutely empathic with female spiders, I just might live a bit more happily alongside them in my house. But as for fruit flies, I will murder those bitches any day.

"Little Smiling Poem" A poem by Jess Coffman

If I smile at you, will you smile back,
Without any strings attached?
Except that two souls saw a moment in time
To empathize, care and relax?

In a city with personal barriers gone,
A stranger, is not a friend unknown.
Surrounded by millions of people today,
I'll still feel starkly alone. 

A woman won't smile, while passing a man,
Without fear that she'll be inviting,
His gifts of empty, unwanted praise,
So her good will go into hiding.

Eyes downcast, headphones in,
We ride the train in a daze. 
Protecting ourselves from each other,
Disengaging from our days.

If I'm lucky, a small child hops on the train,
With endless questions to a weary mother.
Quickly, the dreariness disappears,
And life again is in color.

My neighbor sighs and I softly chuckle,
And smiles can't help but appear.
Two souls share a moment of pure delight,
Relieving all fears of despair. 

I took this picture on Halloween of this tiny kid wearing his 3 Train costume, because I thought it was hilarious and so adorable. The Dad told me that I could take the picture, and I promised that I was only taking it to send to my Mom. I think I actually used the words "this is not going to go online or anything, I just want to send it to my Mom." But now here I am going back on my word. This kid and his Dad were totally strangers to me, so I have absolutely no permission to put this up. But you can't see the kid's face, so I feel like I'm fine. I will however give a big shout out to his Dad who handcrafted this amazing costume.

Anyway, I never thought I would actually use this picture, so I never thought about breaking my promise. But as I was looking for images online first of smiles, then children in strollers, then Mexican babies, I remembered this picture. It really provides a perfect image for this poem. It has all of the elements: strangers, trains, a cute child and my big smile on the other side of the camera.

Smile at strangers today, you never know who really needs it!

My Merciful Muse a poem by Jess Coffman

Eyes closed,
Folded hands to forehead,
I use to believe that my prayers were received.
That you were positively tickled to send through me,
The warm and glittering good news of the day.

But shortly after the coldest winter in a century
Killed the green,
Your calming melodies quieted.
This ferociously loud city out sung you, my Muse,
And I became a skeptic.

You renewed me with words of deliverance,
You called me to my calling,
Yet I stopped believing in your existence. 

One desperate day, I pleaded to hear you.
But after months of refusing your help,
I had forgotten how to listen to you.

I panicked. 

A convoluted symphony blasted in my brain.
The violins screaming and the timpani pounding,
Relentlessly and ominously.
Though I heard your faint, unobtrusive calling,
I didn't listen to you.

I made the wrong choice.
I chose the path to pride over the path to transcendence.

Humiliated by my lack of sacrifice and trust in you,
And like a suffering child,
I pressed my trembling hands over disobedient ears,
And again, tried to ignore you.

But, your calm overwhelmed me.

I open my tightly shut eyes to find that
I was not smited, injured or damned.
I had closed a door that I was not meant to,

Though I would have to learn how to listen again,
And I would have to endure the earthly consequences,
I would not suffer the divine consequences.
For you are more than fair my Muse,
You are merciful.

JESS COFFMAN

I still feel mad at myself for not choosing to see The Birth of Venus at the Uffizi Museum when I was in Florence. I was 21 at the time, and had done a terrible job of budgeting out my money during my 3 week trip to Europe. My day in Florence was only halfway through my trip and I was destitute. But, even though I had run out of money, that day was one of my favorite days of the trip. It was raining and rather gloomy, but that made it all the more romantic to me. I had borrowed a few Euro from another American girl to go to a museum, but The Birth of Venus by Botticelli and Michelangelo's statue of The David were at two different museums. I didn't have enough money for both, so I chose the naked man instead. I know the The David is supposed to be super impressive because of the shear size of the piece among other things. But honestly, the only thing that really impressed me about it, was the beautifully coiffed pubic hair.

Another let down, was the fact that director Roberto Benigni, was scheduled to speak at an outdoor amphitheater in Florence that day. I don't think that it ended up happening because of the rain, and I was too poor to go anyway, but I wanted to hear him speak so badly. Life is Beautiful was such an important film to me.

I somehow lost track of time in my romantically poor state, and I experienced a stressful sprint up to the Piazzele Michelangelo just as my tour bus was pulling away. There were two other times that I was almost was left in romantic foreign cities because I missed the tour bus. The first time was in Verona when I was mesmerized by all of the letters left at Juliet's balcony. As in Romeo and Juliet people. Strangers from around the world, wrote love notes to true or star-crossed lovers and posted them with bubble gum on a stone archway. It was the greatest thing I had ever seen, and I was temporarily left in Verona, Italy because of it. The second time I missed the tour bus,  was when I got stung by a bee while in the gardens of Versailles, France. I did not speak a word of French and because I could not explain that I was not allergic to bees, the Versailles EMTs were called. I was slightly annoyed, until the hunkiest French EMT pulled out a huge syringe and sucked out the bee stinger. He could not speak English and his green eyes were beautiful. It was a super uncomfortable turned hot experience.

I say all of this only to explain, that when I picture my Merciful Muse, she looks a lot like the way Botticelli painted Venus. I love that she is the pearl of the shell. I love that Botticelli painted her hair so long, so that she could gracefully cover herself. It is a stunning picture, but I know the real thing will inspire a beautiful moment in me one day that I must experience. So if you could, say a little prayer that my current $60 dollar "Travel Fund" will increase to a heap of money so I could finally have my moment.

Peace, Love and Ice Cream,

Jess

"When My Dad Goes" a poem by Jess Coffman

When My Dad Goes


When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who ever asked to brush my hair. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who let me sleep in his armpit.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who woke me up before the sun. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who made a maple bar taste like love.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
I ever hugged on a motorcycle. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who sacrificed, so I could dance. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who really wanted to put me first. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man
to look at me with overwhelming love.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
to tip me 100 percent on his lunch bill.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
to sing Christmas Carols on my answering machine. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who told me I could do or be anything.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
I tell I love, but rarely see. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I love,
with the courage to live differently. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I love, 
despite our differing points of view.  

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who loves me for my strength. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I love, 
who told me he was proud of me. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I knew, 
who cried at the National Anthem.

When my Dad goes, he'll the only man I knew,  
who lived for the fight. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I knew 
who didn't give a shit, what others thought.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I knew, 
who made baby-back ribs taste like love. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who "bad-danced" better than me. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man 
who showed me God in nature.

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I knew, 
who ever offered to protect me. 

When my Dad goes, he'll be the only man I've loved my whole life. 

Jess Coffman

Hello Friends!

"When My Dad Goes," is a poem that is inspired by the expertly crafted and tremendously evocative film, "Everybody's Fine." Robert De Niro steals your heart as he plays the calm and calculated widower "Frank Goode" who sets out on a journey across the country to visit with his children. I pretty much cried for the entire 2 hours that it took me to watch and recover from the movie. I completely identified with this story, in the sense that I have a strong, hard-working, proud, sometimes lonely, father trying to connect with his children who are spread out across the country. "Frank Goode" has many set-backs emotionally and physically in the film, but eventually he acquires a rather sad and honest connection with his children. 

I called my Dad at one point when I took an emotional break from the film, to tell him how much I loved him. After our brief and lovely conversation, where my Dad reassured me that he missed me and he was proud of me, I began to write this poem. I don't believe that there are any perfect children or any perfect parents, and though my childhood was complicated, I am so blessed to have the parents that I do. This poem is a celebration of a few wonderful details explaining why I love and appreciate my Dad so much. I hope it inspires you to call a relative today, and tell them how important they are to you. 

Have a blessed day!

Jess 

P.S. Check out this youtube video of my Dad "bad-dancing" called "Zumba Dad Killin It!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZjbUMfpuBE

"Winter in New York" a poem by Jess Coffman

Expectation has captured me like a fish on a hook.
Choking on what feeds me, I can't wriggle myself free.
Bound by the Guilt of not becoming what everyone wants 
me to Be. 

I've felt the Sun Shine in my chest,
And I chase that feeling like a child,  
An eager child,
Who flips and sings so you won't forget she's special.
The Warmth is real, but slowly dying out with the fading light.
The Cold is creeping, clawing in, and I haven't been feeling alright.

Like a stressful game of "Hot Potato,"
Where I'm the single player,
I'm running in circles, 
Trying to keep my dreams up, off the floor.
Struggling to give them life, 
As they begin to fall. 
Praying that the music won't stop, 
Not knowing sometimes why I do it at all. 

I've worked so hard to convince myself
That I have something to believe in. 
But no one cares to hear my voice, 
I'm unsuccessful not by choice.

But, I'm no longer jealous of those at the top,
Whose lives are what I once wanted.
I just want the sunshine back in my heart,
I just want to love my days and not fall apart.

Though no one talks of lifelong dreams that should be given up.
There's too much shame, too much blame and precious time wasted. 
We're convinced we're Nothing without them, 
And we can't bare to face it.   
Like an abused lover we hold ourselves, 
Making excuses for our pain.
We take the punches, 
Remembering better days, 
Praying for them again.

But if you cry more than you bellow with laughter, 
If you give your love and they never take,
If your smile is relentlessly forced and fake,
Without shame,
With Belief,
It's time for a new dream. 

Jess Coffman 

Happy President's Day! I am taking the Founding Fathers lead and finding myself today. I'm ready to establish a new nation, I'm throwing away rules that I once had for myself that haven't worked up to this point. I am working on not feeling guilty for past dreams that have not come to fruition. Instead, I am seeking out some old and some new activities, and only those people who help to spark my inner light. I know that I am responsible for keeping that light shining, and I have let it go out for the last time! If this means my pursuits in life have to change completely, then so be it! "This Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine!" Who's With Me?!