"Little Present Poem" a poem by Jess Coffman

Sun reaching for my face,

Ants dodging with erratic pace,
Webs are glinting on the Grass,
my eyelids close with Peace.

I am alive, when I am alone,
when incessant chatter and gripes are gone,
when no one asks me what is the matter,
and I don't worry myself at all. 

I'm here for the Spiders who bite my feet,
to admire the wild Horse's mane.
I can sit with the Rocks, and stand with the Trees,
I know with certainty, we're One and the same.

I am not meant, for four white walls,
I need open space, for Present flight.
I sway to Cicadas' wrenching lull
sewing sound into the thickness.

I sit here still. not a frustrated lover, 
not future-fogged, not woman at all.
I'm just here...Being 
like the Sticks and the Leaves.
nothing barer.
nothing better.

JESS COFFMAN

Hello Friends!

This poem and these photos were conceived in an up-and-coming green community called Hampstead, within Montgomery, AL. Alice Sherman, my long-time friend and fellow performer (currently starring as "Mary Poppins" in our production) told me of a great restaurant/bar called The Tipping Point, in Hampstead. Being a Malcolm Gladwell fan, and well as a huge craft beer fan, (thanks to Billy Kametz) The Tipping Point sounded like an amazing choice for a day-off brew. I drove out around dusk, which is my absolute favorite time of day, and was so excited to find this unique sustainable housing and community in Montgomery. As much as I love BBQ joints and Waffle Houses, Montgomery seems to be lacking, when it comes to independently owed, well maintained, unique and delicious cuisine. So, I was thrilled when I arrived to see that my above wish was coming true with the Tipping Point. And in the same breath, bummed, when I discovered that it was indeed closed on Mondays, and I was not able to fulfill my sustainable dreams, at least for that day.

I am actually so grateful that it was closed, because it caused me to do a little exploring around Hampstead. Right behind The Tipping Point was an unfinished gravel road, and further beyond, an adorable red barn and silo that read "Hampstead Farms." Alongside this gravel road were a couple of horses grazing. As I looked around, and crept closer to them, I realized that they must be wild. I had never seen wild horses before, it was exhilarating! Their manes were a bit tattered, further confirming that they were never brushed or confined, and I found myself reverent for their peace and freedom. I was also slightly afraid, because although they didn't block the gravel path to get to the farm,  I would have to cross them and have my back to them as I walked (or ran for my life) the lengthy road to get the the farm. I considered driving my car down the road, because then at least I would have a physical barrier to protect me from the wild horses. But it is a rental, and I was nervous that something might happen to the car due to the unfinished road, so I decided to put my body in potential danger instead!
The horses were about 50 feet away from me further up the road, though in the grass, and seemingly unaware of me at that distance. As I inched forward up the road, the dominant horse began to notice me, though continuing to graze. When I was about 20 feet away from the horses, and in direct line with them, the dominant horse, faced me and deliberately kept it's eyes on me for several minutes, while eating. I kept my eyes on him/her as well, and with loving energy stayed still. Much to my surprise,  a few minutes later, I began to walk up the road without worry that I would be surprise-trampled from behind. It wasn't until I reached the farm, that I realized what a an amazingly, unprecedented, energetic moment I had just experienced. I basically communicated peace, curiosity and patience, to which the wild horse, after careful consideration, believed me, and let me pass without fear. It was beautiful. I wouldn't recommend trying this communication in the presence of wild carnivorous animals. I think part of this experience was due to the fact that horses in general are not trying to eat humans, and because I did not attempt to touch them or invade their close personal space in anyway. But it was absolutely an experience, that connected me to my primordial side, and my instincts took over. I communicated with another animal, it was fascinating and exhilarating.

After I trespassed on the adorable farm and captured this special moment below...

I sat down on a wooden bench, facing the setting sun, and with gratitude and an open heart, wrote "Little Present Poem."

Thank-you for reading!

As always...Spread the love!

Jess

Poetry of Lovers: 8 Tips On How to Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship!

I am currently rehearsing with and enjoying a very lovely cast of performers in Disney's "Mary Poppins" at The Alabama Shakespeare Festival. While getting to know these especially wonderful people, I was surprised to find that most members of the cast were in relationships with other theater performers. I was also personally relieved and thrilled to learn that in my presence there were concrete stories of performer couples that had managed to successfully find the balance between their work life and their love life. This balance was not achieved to a small degree or for the short term. There are several people in my cast who have been on Broadway or toured all over the world performing, that have been married or with their long time partner for over 20 years.

One of the most difficult aspects of our job as performers, is that many of the relatively good jobs take you far away from your home and your relationship. Billy and I have been apart because of performance gigs, a little under half of our three-year relationship. It is obviously not ideal, and we have gone through waves of it being easier or harder depending on the length of the gig, or time of year. But, it always surprises me when I hear people with jobs in different industries say that they could never be in a long distance relationship. So, I decided to reach out to my new friends in the cast for some tips on how to stay connected and romantic while loving long distance!

Obviously with all of this advice, season to taste! Not one relationship is exactly like another. But a happy long distance relationship does require both partners to consistently work at it. It doesn't have to be hard work, but it does require forethought, time and a willingness to try new ways of communicating and loving to make the relationship work in each new situation.

8 Tips on How to Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship!

 

1. Schedule times to Skype!

Skype and Facetime are one of the most wonderful tools for loving long distance. It is really the only way to see your mate without them being in your presence. But sometimes our busy schedules apart, make it difficult to find the time for quality time communication. A few people in my cast said that they schedule times to Skype/Facetime their loved one in order to ensure that it happens. A few couples schedule time weekly to Skype and watch one of their favorite shows at the same time on Netflix together! If you do have to break plans for a Skype date, be sure to give plenty of notification and suggest another time that you will be available to see your lover. All you really have is your word when you are long distance, so communicate often and be consistent. A sexy Skype session is always a great way to stay intimately connected as well!

2. Be where you are!

I asked a woman in our cast how she had managed to have such a happy 30-year marriage and successful career. She said to me simply, "Be where you are." It reminded me of the Crosby Stills and Nash lyrics "If you can't be with the one you Love, Love the one you're with." She explained to me that it doesn't help either person in the situation, if one or both of you is constantly pining for what you don't have. Hopefully you have made the choice to be apart, for a reason that is beneficial for you. Be productive and enjoy your new adventure. If you are happy, it makes being apart worthwhile.

3. It all about the little things, don't leave anything out!

A brilliantly talented woman in our cast who has been married for over 20 years to her actor husband, gave me the above tip, which I absolutely love. She said that when you are on a new adventure, it is imperative to tell your love the exciting, as well as the mundane details of your daily experiences. Share names and details about the new people you are working with. Share stories and inside jokes that have formed with your new friends. Tell your love everything about the cool bars and restaurants that you are going to and the beauty of your new environment. I have found that when my boyfriend shares all of the little details of his daily life with me, I no longer feel "left out" of his life even though we are physically apart. It is definitely a trust building habit, it prevents jealousy, and overall adds a cushion of comfort to your long distance situation.

4. Text All Day Long!

A few people in our cast said that they text all day long with their love. This is another way of keeping up with all of the little things in a day. It is a great way of communicating that doesn't require having a long solid block of time available to talk on the phone or Skype. I find that when Billy and I text often in a day, our relationship feels like it did when we were first dating. A text saying "It's beautiful out today and I wish we could play outside" or "I'm really missing you today," lets me know that he is thinking of me, which makes me feel very loved. You should also try flirty or sexy texts for fun!

5. Write Each Other Love Letters!

One man who has been with his husband for 23 years, told me that before technology made it so easy for us to stay connected long distance, he and his partner wrote letters to each other everyday while they were apart. It is still a tradition that they keep up today! A few of the younger men in the cast agreed that letter writing was better than emailing. Being someone who loves poetry and the written word, there is almost nothing better than words of love, romance or kindness being expressed to me. There is definitely something more beautiful and emotional about seeing your loved one's handwriting on the page, rather than receiving generic text in an email. I also think there is something romantic about touching a piece of paper or card that your lover also touched, when he was thinking of you, and writing to let you know.

6. Six weeks is the Max!

Many of my cast mates said that they have an agreement in their relationship about the maximum number of weeks that they can go without seeing one another in person. One man said that he and his actor husband have an agreement that if they are not committed to being onstage, they are committed to traveling to see the other person. I know for myself, I start to feel disconnected and funky around the 3-6 week mark, so accepting a job for me also means considering what it will cost for my love to come visit. It may mean that I am not able to eat out as much, or have that second margarita, but none of those things matter when I know I will be holding Billy soon.

7. Be prepared to show your love in a new way!

If you have read "The Five Love Languages, this tip will be a little clearer for you. If you are someone who naturally shows your love for your partner primarily through physical affection or acts of service, or if you are someone who feels loved primarily through either of those two ways, being long distant may require you to use a different love language. Luckily words of affirmation, gift giving and quality time (via Skype) are wonderful alternatives to showing or experiencing love with your partner. Just be aware that you may have to work extra hard to show your love through a different love language that may not come naturally to you. If you usually cuddle with her or do the dishes to show that you love her, obviously those things are impossible when you are apart. Ask your loved one how you can best take care of their needs while you are apart, and then get out of your comfort zone and see what works! Be flexible, be creative and have fun!

8. Love and Trust!

I know from experience, it is easy to worry about your relationship when you are apart. I am unfortunately someone who is prone to jealousy, so if let it, my mind can create all kinds of delusions as to why Billy hasn't returned my call. If I let my personal insecurities and fears of losing him consume me, I end up unhappy, and usually an unwanted argument ensues when we finally do chat. Studies show that 80-90 percent of what we worry about never happens, and as it stands Billy has never betrayed my trust with another woman, or been struck by lightening! So allow yourself to love and trust while you are long distant, because allowing yourself to be overtaken with worry and negativity, will never allow you or your relationship to thrive.

Thank-you for reading! Thank-you to all of the delightful cast members of "Mary Poppins" who contributed to this post!

Spread the love!

Jess

Poetry of Lovers: 8 Simple Ways to Please Your Lover on a Wednesday!

I am tinkering with the idea of writing a book on romance. Now I know that there are many books on romance. But as a poet and therefore super-romantic, my goal for the book, would be to help those less vulnerable and more pragmatic individuals learn how to soften up and romantically please their mate.

Here are 8 easy romantic ideas, sure to please your lover!

1. Send your lover an unexpected compliment via text, preferably one that you don't say all of the time. It will be a pleasant surprise and sure to boost a low point in their day.

2. Send your lover a short video wishing them a good day at work. You can quickly and easily film yourself on your smart phone and send it right over. Feel free to send something short and sweet or wildly creative.

3. Write a love letter for your lover and hide it somewhere where they will find it, when the two of you are apart. Put a love note in her bag, or write it for him on the bathroom mirror when its all steamy, so that when he takes a shower later, the words "I love you," magically appear!

4. I'm Italian, so I believe nothing is better than a special meal made with love. Try cooking her/his favorite breakfast food or maybe recreate the meal you had on your first date. For my lover and I, it would be steak with "first-date sauce" and brussel sprouts. If you are not comfortable cooking, its okay! The effort you put in to look up a recipe and prepare a meal for sentimental value will gain major points. Even if the meal doesn't turn out so cute, you hopefully will have learned something about cooking and your lover will be so appreciative. Feel free to order take-out afterword if necessary!

5. Experience beauty in nature! Regardless of where you live or what season you are in, it is possible to find beauty and fun in nature. Take a walk, drive or hike to his/her favorite nature spot, admire the beauty in nature and admire your lovers beauty as well. Compliments are always welcome!

6. Recreate one of their favorite childhood memories, often times our personal romantic ideals, come from something beautiful that we experienced in childhood. In my life, I love finding hidden notes because my Mom used to hide love notes for me in my lunch bag. I also love being woken up for an adventure before the sun rises, because my Dad used to wake me up when it was still dark outside, to get donuts with him. Both unique experiences made me feel so special and loved. I can't think of anything more loving that my lover recreating what I first experienced love to be in life.

7. When you and your lover are alone together, give him/her a compliment that only you would know. It shows that you are paying attention, and possibly exposing something about themselves that they never considered to be adorable. For example: his childlike excitement for french bulldogs, the way she twitches as she drifts off to sleep, the way he flexes his biceps anytime you grab his arm or her beautiful bare back.

8. Tiny gifts, can be a huge gift for the heart! I am a firm believer that you don't have to spend huge amounts of money to be romantic. Tiny gifts that spark you and your lover to reminisce about great pastimes are wonderful! When my lover and I first started dating while performing for Disney Cruise Lines, we really learned how to enjoy simple pleasures. Back in those days, we would finish our shows, enjoy separate "beer showers," which is where you drink a beer in the shower, and then sneak Cup of Noodles back to my room from the crew mess. If I came home late from catering, and he had purchased my favorite beer so I could have a "beer shower," and then surprised me afterward with Cup of Noodles, I would be thrilled! But...if he happened to remember that I put chili paste, vinegar and soy sauce in my Cup of Noodles back in those ship days, and had bought those items too, I would probably cry. Sometimes the most romantic gestures are in the smallest of details.

Please let me know what you think of these ideas. If you have any personal romantic stories/ideas that you would like to share, please post or message them as well! Spread the love!