"Winter in New York" a poem by Jess Coffman

Expectation has captured me like a fish on a hook.
Choking on what feeds me, I can't wriggle myself free.
Bound by the Guilt of not becoming what everyone wants 
me to Be. 

I've felt the Sun Shine in my chest,
And I chase that feeling like a child,  
An eager child,
Who flips and sings so you won't forget she's special.
The Warmth is real, but slowly dying out with the fading light.
The Cold is creeping, clawing in, and I haven't been feeling alright.

Like a stressful game of "Hot Potato,"
Where I'm the single player,
I'm running in circles, 
Trying to keep my dreams up, off the floor.
Struggling to give them life, 
As they begin to fall. 
Praying that the music won't stop, 
Not knowing sometimes why I do it at all. 

I've worked so hard to convince myself
That I have something to believe in. 
But no one cares to hear my voice, 
I'm unsuccessful not by choice.

But, I'm no longer jealous of those at the top,
Whose lives are what I once wanted.
I just want the sunshine back in my heart,
I just want to love my days and not fall apart.

Though no one talks of lifelong dreams that should be given up.
There's too much shame, too much blame and precious time wasted. 
We're convinced we're Nothing without them, 
And we can't bare to face it.   
Like an abused lover we hold ourselves, 
Making excuses for our pain.
We take the punches, 
Remembering better days, 
Praying for them again.

But if you cry more than you bellow with laughter, 
If you give your love and they never take,
If your smile is relentlessly forced and fake,
Without shame,
With Belief,
It's time for a new dream. 

Jess Coffman 

Happy President's Day! I am taking the Founding Fathers lead and finding myself today. I'm ready to establish a new nation, I'm throwing away rules that I once had for myself that haven't worked up to this point. I am working on not feeling guilty for past dreams that have not come to fruition. Instead, I am seeking out some old and some new activities, and only those people who help to spark my inner light. I know that I am responsible for keeping that light shining, and I have let it go out for the last time! If this means my pursuits in life have to change completely, then so be it! "This Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine!" Who's With Me?!