"So I Run," lyrics by Jess Coffman

The news shattered me like a vase,
Full of vibrant flowers,
Being dropped on the floor.
One hand on my face,
One hand on my heart for hours,
Tears inside began to pour.

I never thought I'd react this way.
I knew this news would happen one day.

I stumbled around like a soul
Who was blinded by truth,
And I couldn't see straight.
I reached in my past,
To pull back from love, from you,
To alter this fate.

I never thought I'd react this way.
I knew this news would happen one day,
But I'm wide-eyed and broken...

So I run, run fast,
Just as fast as I can.
Right into the arms of another man.
And when he is gone there is only shame,
He was the scapegoat I could blame,
Cause I couldn't claim you...anymore.
Oh...

These feelings inside, came to life,
Like a zombie raising,
Right up from the dead.
They clawed to my heart,
They broke through my peace, dazing
All resolve in my head.

I never thought I'd react this way.
I knew this news would happen one day,
But I'm wide-eyed and broken...

So I run, run fast,
Just as fast as I can.
Right into the arms of another man.
And when he was gone there was only shame,
He was the scapegoat I could blame,
Cause I couldn't claim you.
No, Oh...

I know I don't need you,
So why do I miss you,
Like I miss being a child?
And I'll never go back,
Back to the sea,
With the wind at my feet
And my hair blowin' wild.
So I'll never regret cause
It's useless and wrong.
You've led me right where I truly belong.
Though I'm shaken, I'm tough,
And you never were tough,
And I can do better.

So I'll run, run fast.
Just as fast as I can.
Out of the arms of another man.
And when I am gone, there won't be shame.
Won't be any mess to erase or blame.
And I'll stop claiming you,
Cause there's nothing to claim,
Anymore.

JESS COFFMAN

These photos and videos are of the absolutely sexy and stunning sunset over Redondo Beach. 

I was celebrating July 3rd with my "satin balls," 

Lindsey Stakoe Neumann and Makinna Ridgway and their loved ones. 

So these playful photos and breathtaking slo-mo sunset video 

doesn't portray the mood of this song at all. 

But I prefer to focus on better times. :)

Heartbreak, sunsets and Zombies,

Your Jess

"We're Cool," a girl power summer pop song written by Jess Coffman

I'm at the pool with my girls,
In sunglasses and curls.
Our make-up's gone, bathing suits on,
All smiles and twirls.

No worries for today,
We got sunshine and lemonade.
Swimming with my friends,
Days never end,
Mermaids would be jealous cause...

We've got freedom, we've got beat,
And we're dancing on our feet.
We don't care if we make fools of ourselves,
We've got time, we've got the smarts.
Our whole life's a work of art.
All we care is if we're cool with ourselves.
And we're cool.

I'm laying out and relaxing,
Blowin' bubbles, gum smacking.
Catchin' up on my book,
Don't care how I look,
All jokes and laughing.

These ladies are the best,
They love me when I'm a mess.
We got good attitudes,
We don't need our dudes.
Mermaids would be jealous cause...

We've got freedom, we've got beat,
And we're dancing on our feet.
We don't care if we make fools of ourselves,
We've got time, we've got the smarts.
Our whole life's a work of art.
All we care is if we're cool with ourselves.
And we're cool.

But there are rules...
And if I break,
I know they'll take the time to set me straight.
I need never fear, because they're here.
The strongest of my tribe,
They they know my vibe
And what makes me most alive.

Cause...
We've got freedom, we've got beat,
And we're dancing on our feet.
We don't care if we make fools of ourselves,
We've got time, we've got the smarts.
Our whole life's a work of art.
All we care is if we're cool with ourselves.

We've got freedom, we've got beat,
And we're dancing on our feet.
We don't care if we make fools of ourselves,
We've got time, we've got the smarts.
Our whole life's a work of art.
All we care is if we're cool with ourselves.
And we're cool.

JESS COFFMAN

I just want to dedicate this song to my sisters Kaleigh Coffman and Monica CdeBaca, Naila CdeBaca (my niece), Audrey George (Naila's cousin), Carolyn Christensen (Audrey's Mom) and Aunt Corrine (Monica's Aunt/Audrey's Grandma). I had the absolute privilege of receiving inspiration for "We're Cool," while hanging out at the pool, with these very special girls and ladies.

My sister Kaleigh and I, were invited to join Monica and her family, on an all-girls trip, to a timeshare in Palm Desert. Upon arrival, we were greeted with big loving hugs from Monica and Naila, which were beautiful and awesome. Then Carolyn and Corrine who had just gone to the store, handed us my very favorite summer beer! It is 21st Amendment's "Hell or High Watermelon" watermelon wheat beer. You guys, it's the best.

Then for two days straight, Corrine treated Kaleigh and I as if we were her own nieces. Her generosity and the way that Monica's entire family embraced us like their own, was stunning. We had seen Monica's relatives at Naila and Audrey's dance recitals for the last few years, and sometimes for birthdays or holidays. But we didn't even know Corrine's last name at the start of the weekend! When we arrived to check in at the timeshare, they wouldn't give us our room keys, because we didn't have the full name of the person we were staying with! We had to check Facebook. We had always referred to her as Aunt Corrine because that was what Monica called her. And  like Cher, Madonna and Lady Gaga, they don't have last names. And Aunt Corrine is definitely colorfully badass enough, to not have a last name. Well...it's Tashnek. Aunt Corrine Tashnek.

As I basked in this stunning generosity, I also basked in the summer pool fun. We splashed, we rode water slides, we swam like mermaids, we played chicken, we twirled around in the water, we had handstand contests, we took silly underwater pictures at night, we ate nachos together, took sunset walks, we laughed as Corrine ran comedically without her flip flops on the immensely hot pavement, and so many more funny and lovely things. I got to enjoy being a grown woman...but playing like a little girl. I am very thankful to Naila and Audrey for reminding me how much fun life can be, when you approach it with the playfulness of a child.

Truthfully, I love a craft beer or an afternoon of wine tasting, but I kind-of resent the fact that as soon as you are an adult, you are expected to drink...all of the time...at every event. And unbridled silliness, is meant to happen as a result from booze, rather than purely on it's own.

It was also interesting and healing for me, to spend about 3 1/2 days surrounded exclusively with feminine energy. I felt cute because I was being childlike. I felt validated, because my sister Monica, is the best listener and least judgmental person I have ever experienced. I felt funny, because my sister Kaleigh brings out the wackiest part of my nature, and always laughs at my weirdness. I didn't really worry about my body, even though I wore a bathing suit basically the whole time I was there. We dressed up for dinner one night, but other than that, I didn't do my hair and didn't wear make-up. I forgot about being 31, being single, not being as successful as I'd like to be, not having children, a home, or a steady job. Yikes.

I basically, just enjoyed loving, and being loved by the other ladies and girls in our completely natural forms. We got the chance to celebrate and simple thrive in our feminine traits. We were nurturing, wacky, funny, playful, adventurous, quiet, sleepy, creative, energetic, generous, thoughtful, assertive, curious, friendly, loving and successfully communicative.

On the second afternoon, I could feel myself getting a bit distant, which happens sometimes when inspiration is about to strike. The rest of the ladies and girls went to the pool, and I stayed behind to sit in the shade, and write down my observations and feelings about the trip so far. What ended up coming out was "We're Cool," a Taylor Swift style, girl-power summer pop song. Even though these lyrics are somewhat silly and obvious, I am actually proud of what they represent. It is simply a celebration of being female, being fun, being independent, and loving other women at the same time.

As always thank-you for reading.

Sunshine, Soul-Friends and Mermaids,

Your Jess

"When I Was Your Jess," lyrics by Jess Coffman

Toes in the sand,
Mist like a kiss.
The waves in my heart break,
Cause I miss your lips.

I see that smile,
It's seared in my mind.
I can't erase it,
With beauty or wine.

There was a season,
When you were all mine.
When we were sweet,
and green and blind.
But one day the wind blew,
The Truth in my ear,
And I couldn't un-know it,
And I couldn't un-hear it.

I couldn't have you, not anymore.
Somehow I'd leave you,
Somehow the door was closing.
I didn't know then,
It would be for the best.
I always thought that,
I'd be your Jess.

Each moment feels borrowed,
You feel wrong to the touch,
Why can't you belong to me?
When I love you so much.

Even in our own pictures,
Your face seems to fade.
And I am left alone standing,
Without any say.

There was a season,
When you were all mine.
Then God changed the discourse,
And I had to find him.
One day the wind blew,
The Truth in my ear,
And I couldn't un-know it,
And I couldn't un-hear it.

I couldn't have you, not anymore.
Somehow I'd leave you,
She'd be the door you'd open.
Although I know,
It's all for the best,
I miss your voice whispering,
That I was your Jess.

And she will inspire you,
And you will grow up.
You will adore her,
And you'll be enough.
And I'll still be chasing,
The Truth on the wind,
I'll never give up,
I'll just keep giving in,
I'll just keep listening.

I shouldn't have you, not anymore.
God helped me leave you,
He was the door I'd open.
Although I know,
It was all for the best.
I'll always love when I was your Jess.

I'll always love when, I was your Jess.

JESS COFFMAN

I wrote this song today at the beach, while I was reminiscing about a long ago love. I had such a beautiful day by myself. The beach is such a perfect place because it ignites all of the senses. 

Somehow, minding my own business, I found myself chatting with a very gregarious Italian, who happened to be a Professional Surfer/Windsurfer...that song is to come :) 

Peace, Waves, and Italians,

Your Jess 

"Serpent" lyrics by Jess Coffman

Euphoria in Dystopia.

I close my eyes and drop my mouth, 

Your lovin’ sticks like honey in summer, 

And just like a drought, your lovin’ is out. 

Your wily snake eyes prey on my soul,

And I lose self control, l lose sight of my whole.

Lascivious lullabies, creep in my bones.

Temptation is home. My red metronome. 

But Oh, I do this all the time. 

But Oh, I’m not in my prime.

And Oh, right when I am aware,

You’re not even there. 

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat, 

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall, 

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.

My vision blurred, by off-centered heart.

Is this love, or less than fake?

The mirror cracks, I’m smacked awake,

Something in my brain quakes.

I’m ragged raw, from wiping up, 

The sweat from pain, the pull from strain, 

My writhing hips, collapse in the beat, 

As I give in your city heat.

But Oh, I do this all the time. 

But Oh, I’m not in my prime. 

And Oh, right when I am aware,

You’re not even there. 

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat, 

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall, 

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.

Puppet me please.

Blow smoke up my ass.

Tell me I’m a blast

And this love will last, 

Let this lover last, oh oh. 

Puppet me please.

Don’t stop til I blow.

And then I will know, 

It’s not all for show

It’s not all a show, oh  

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat, 

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall,

Rush, Love, Fall, Repeat,

Rush, Love, Fall, 

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.

JESS COFFMAN

Hey Friends! I am so excited to post this Lorde style set of lyrics for my newest inspiration, "Serpent." My great friend and soul sister Elise Sievert Bhushan, has written a short film, and has asked me to write the title song! The film sounds amazing. Elise and I met dancing in a production of The King And I. Let's just state a fact, our characters were meant to be Asian...and well...she's a beautiful blonde German girl. Anyway...we share this love and knowledge of dance, and we get to use our dance skills in new ways in our current directions of creativity. I am of course pursuing poetry and songwriting, she is pursuing writing/directing/editing/producing/acting for t.v. and film. She also has a podcast...she's busy ya'll and killin' it. 

Our dance backgrounds have really come in handy in this short film process so far. The film's main character "Brie," is a dancer whom Elise will play, and she has asked me to write the sultry, dark, tortured song, that "Brie" will dance to in the film! Elise and I spoke about the theme, feel and tempo, but it was really great getting the chance to write the lyrics and consider the song from a dancer's perspective, as far as dynamics and interpretation. I loved being able to write the song while imagining dancing it at the same time. 

Now, this is just the first draft, so I may have another version of "Serpent," to post, and I may have to write a whole new song if this is not the right fit for her vision. I am prepared mentally for both. Honestly, I hope that she likes it, but I'm also not that attached at this point. I am the vessel. The work comes through me and I write it down. No more, no less. 

Please check out Elise's podcast Nothing Shines Like Dirt, "it jumps head first into unpredictable dialogue about creating your own work with guest artists in the entertainment industry. We will slide into conversations about work, creativity, and the art of storytelling. And don't worry, we promise it will be full of playful insights into the little and not so little idiosyncrasy of day to day life. So let's get started empowering and connecting artists! Love (yes we choose love). 

Elise and Leslie, are tying to reach 1,000 subscribers for Nothing Shine Like Dirt by July 4th. You can go to http://www.elisesievert.com/nsld-podcast/ to get more info and subscribe! 

Check out how charming, smart and beautiful Elise and Leslie are as they seek to connect with you and share their connections and knowledge with you!

https://vimeo.com/166834079

Elise and I dancing for real, with Bounce Entertainment,
at the Ritz Carlton at Battery Park in NYC.
We kicked our faces Rockette style with 10 other beautiful and talented ladies.
Thanks Molly Booth Alvarez! 

Thank-you for all of your love and support!

Peace, Serpents and Storytelling,

Your Jess

"All Fall Down," lyrics by Jess Coffman

A waterfall of courage stinging down his throat.

Blackness creeping in, erasing every note.

There’s lipstick on her lips, but no one hears her voice.

She pulls him to her hips as if she had no choice. 

I’m dancin’ now and dying to love on you,

Free my arms, and show me what you want to do.

My heart is full of whiskey, all I have is time.

This makes me feel like shit, 

But I can’t quit. 

I’m dancin’ now and dying to love on you,

Free my arms, and show me what you want to do.

My heart is full of whiskey, all I have is time.

This makes me feel like shit, 

But I can’t quit. 

I'm stuck within these walls, the fake, is breaking me, 

This world of smoke and mirrors is overtaking me,

Nobody’s life is changing for the greater good, 

I'm fallin' down, but I don’t leave,
I know I should. 

I’m dancin’ now and dying to love on you,

Free my arms and show me what you want to do.

My heart is full of whiskey, all I have is time.

This makes me feel like shit, 

But I can't quit. 

Champagne’s on fire, 

Bills are flyin’ in the air,

Makes us feel wild all night,

Makes me toss my hair,

The flashing lights illuminate me like a star,

The blackness shields, from seeing who we truly are.

He passes out. She’s givin’ in,

Play in this place, nobody wins,

I know the truth, I see the light. 

But there’s no saving my soul tonight.

Light up a match and smoke me out, 

Show me what love is all about.

I can't judge, I’m just the same,

When the sins of the night call out my name.

When we all fall down...

I’m dancin’ now and dying to love on you,

Free my arms and show me what you want to do.

My heart is full of whiskey, all I have is time.

This makes me feel like shit, 

But I can’t quit.

JESS COFFMAN

I wrote the lyrics to this song, as part of a collaboration with a guitar player that I had known since high school. His name is, no joke…T-Bone Rogers. We had collaborated on a few songs that I had written previously for myself. When his band’s lead singer/lyricist parted for “artistic differences,” he asked me to write lyrics for one of their songs. It was the first time, that I had gotten the chance to write lyrics for a piece that was finished musically, and wasn't my own music. It was additionally, a thirilling challenge for me, because the feel of the music was completely different from my style naturally. The artists that I could see singing this song would be Pink, and possibly Gwen Stefani, though it would be on the darker end for Gwen Stefani. 

The inspiration for these lyrics came from an unprecedented and undesirable night that I spent observing the behavior of myself and other peeps, in a hot new dance club in Hollywood. I had been dating a guy at the time, which was many years ago at this point. He had taken me to this club, along with a few of this brothers and brother-in-law. I was slightly uncomforable with the company to begin with, and truthfully, I didn’t really like the guy I was dating. I think the night that I wrote these lyrics was the very last night that we saw one another. 

I was very turned off by the whole experience. I have never been one to care about, or even know about the newest, hottest dance clubs. Give me a craft beer, a Ms. Pacman machine, and people dancing ironically, and I’m down. Or…give me a dry, spicy red wine, a black cocktail dress and a jazz trio, and I’m equally down. But, I’m absolutely NOT into waiting ANY amount of time in line outside of a club, behind a red rope, only to get in and be hit on by sweaty dudes on cocaine. 

Nope. 

So this night was fascinating, in a kind-of a terrible way. I couldn’t leave because the boys had driven me there, and I was in L.A. which lacks reliable late-night public transportation. I was also, fairly poor at the time and I really didn't have money for a cab to head home by myself. The upside to this whole experience for me, was of course that it created such an “emotional stamp,” that I was able to write a whole set of lyrics about it. 

T-Bone and his band didn’t end choosing to keep the lyrics, but it was a fantastic opportunity, to write words to music that I was not emotionally or creatively connected to at all. I would love to do much more of that. Hit me up friends, if you happen to be a kick-ass musician looking for a lady who's all about them words. 

This is a photo of me, Kevin Hastings, Dru DeCaro and R.J. Kelly, kicking' it in NYC after they played The Governor's Ball with R&B artist Miguel. They are amazingly talented, kind and creative men. I was grateful to share space and beautiful conversation with them. 

Peace, Sweat and Lipstick,

Your Jess

"The Bunny and The Woman," a poem by Jess Coffman

Charcoal face and charcoal ears,
With the stillness of a flower.
I was writing with forced gratitude,
And he stopped to watch me struggle.

He didn't dodge away in fear,
Just stayed a still, soothing presence,
Of a wise, sage Healer,
Clothed in fur and skin and bones.

I expected him to flee,
But after every sentence written,
I'd look up to see him watching.
Meaning I was not alone.

And when he finally scampered,
My eyes were down and focused,
Though, I made my peace in solitude,
I feared the numb settling in.

But to my surprise and pleasure,
As I walked around the corner,
He was waiting calm and silent,
As if, to hop me home.

I had an instinct to follow,
As if he'd lead me into Heaven,
Instead I sat down in the shade,
And spent a curious time with him.

He was unafraid and natural,
He even closed his eyes in slumber,
And I watched him with compassion,
As wild creatures sometimes do.

He stayed with me, a distance,
But even when a dog approached us,
I prayed for his leave and safety,
But his obedience was his bliss.

When finally left me, loving,
I wasn't dreary any longer,
I felt a hand on my face easing,
The stress of time and inner health.

And it stroked my hair saying:
"See, I'll never leave you lonely,
Take the time to see the beauty,
In the quiet moments, still.

Be still and watch creation,
Allow a little life to heal you.
Take comfort in the silvery webs
that sway in morning sun.

And listen to the bird song,
They sing songs of grace and worship,
When they glide over your body,
They'll lift your blanket of despair.

Then you'll be bare and in the summer sun.
With all you need around you,
The branches will enwrap you,
And the stones will guide your feet.

All that seems you need, is nothing,
You were meant to stop and take in,
As a healer for your generation,
Help them see the light I give."

Then he hopped away sweetly,
And without sadness or affliction,
I picked up my coffee and humble pen.
And walked emboldened, back into life.

JESS COFFMAN

Sometimes God shows up in the eyes of a bunny.
Observe each other in patience and silence.
In the revealing, there is healing.

Peace, hoping and hopping,

Your Jess

"The Woman and The Tree," a poem by Jess Coffman

She’s loving herself gently today,

Sipping on elderflower rose lemonade,

Feeling privileged and fancy.

She crosses her heart,

With the promise to be a spontaneous blessing, 

to a stranger in the near future. 

She's loving herself sincerely today.

Eyes postured up to the sky, 

Her eyelids closed in warm meditation.

Lashes bathed in sunlight,

She invites and cultivates the calm.

She opens her eyes, now aware, 

Of a friendly Tree outside of the cafe window.

The Tree moves as she does,

Completely unconcerned and with great joy, 

to the sensual sounds of a well-handled guitar,

And lazy day violin. 

The Tree nods at the Woman,

And the Woman nods back,

With curiosity and intentions of mutual respect.

A revelation of affinity resounds within them. 

Both transplants, attempting resilience.

Though the roots of the Tree are masterful and enduring,

But the roots of the Woman, 

As untethered and artful as tentacles. 

Two holy creations.

One, utterly blameless.

The other, dragging around much blame. 

The Tree, developing in holy and natural obedience.

The Woman, developing in wholly and natural rebellion. 

The Woman's breath is  shallow and slow, 

Though the Tree receives her gift of breath with gratitude,

And gifts back in exhale, 

Sighing a prayer of healing to the Woman. 

The Woman, feeling slightly unworthy, 

Dips her chin downward,

Yet, breathes in a prayer of release.

The wind carries in an answer.

And the weight of blame, vaporizes in the heat of the sun.

With a warm wash of silent resolve,

She raises her head, 

in acceptance of this gift of holiness. 

The Tree’s leaves, leap in joyous delight.

The Woman's heart squeezes and leaps 

Just once in fellowship. 

A tear, a smile, and a giggle is shared. 

The Tree bows to the Woman,

And the Woman, hand to chest, curtseys back. 

In Redemption and Grace. 

JESS COFFMAN