Thursday, December 22, 2016

"Rain Changes," a poem by Jess Coffman

last of nights
water seeps,
wine can ease,
when confusion creeps.

parsley waits,
in patient dish.
hearing every
wanted wish.

melodies sing
to divded hearts
calling voices 
in harmonic parts 

lone wolf lady 
perches still
she listens well
and pens her quill

gifts of plenty 
rest on backs 
ready for the 
fears of lack

youthful souls
unsew and unset 
preparing for the 
future unmet

arms that wrap 
round dreams and drought 
dancing in
the fears and doubt. 

abundant love 
that swirls and drops
pink champagne 
induces and pops 

Excited smiles
that produce a flame
of inner hope,
that reciprocates same

light hearts soar 
in hearth and home
ensuring no one 
is alone

Unknown measures 
that soon reveal 
All will survive
All will heal

Love is the fruit
of Spirit’s voice 
it conjurs within, 
a joyful noise.

Nothing of fear,
Everything abreast
Faith overcomes
Every life test.

Synthetic smiles
with nothing wrong,
hoping for 
the path belong.

Open chest 
of greenest cave
moments best
to embrace and save. 

Friendship glows
in darkest eve,
Friendship goes
and never leaves. 

JESS COFFMAN

I wrote "Rain Changes," on my final night in Sonoma, before coming down to L.A. to be with my family for Christmas. I had been invited to have dinner with Grant and Samantha who are roommates, and Alex, who is their really good friend. Samantha, who is an amazing private chef and owner of Sonoma From Scratch, made turkey meatballs and pesto pasta, which made my saucy Italian heart sing. 

After a delicious dinner, Grant, Samantha, Alex and I commiserated over our housing situations. Each of them were being put in positions to move within the next couple of months. My decision of where to move, had to be made within a couple of weeks, and one I had to make alone. Each of our lives were about to change pretty drastically, and we were all handling it in slightly different ways. Because I wasn't in the mix of potentially living with them, I began to observe their emotions, communication and behavior, and became inspired to write. It is fascinating to be in my early 30's, and have a life, with priorities that are so different from my friends who work in one location, are married, or have children. They have so many responsibilities that tether them, for better or for worse, to other people or to a particular place. Whereas, my career in entertainment has required me to be absolutely flexible with where I work, who I work with and where I live. 


Sometimes on Day 1 of rehearsal in our business, I have to entrust my entire livelihood to my dance partner. We may have never worked together before, and we may have never done the lift that we are being asked to do. But I have to jump into the air, and hope that he catches me. Most of the time he does, but sometimes he doesn't. We have to communicate really well, be sensitive to each other's needs, and I have to keep jumping until he catches me consistently. That is the kind of instantaneous trust and care, that I have to have with my co-workers, with each new job. It has been exhilarating mostly and exhausting at times. I am ultimately, incredibly grateful for the experiences that I have had. 


My friends or family who are too tethered in their lives, look at my life with longing, wishing they could have the flexibility and freedom that I have. And though I recognize, that I am incredibly privileged to even get to write this, sometimes having too much freedom, or being too untethered can be overwhelming, too. In the past two years, I have not lived in one state for more than 4 months, and I've lived in about 20 different places. For my friends on the road, this is nothing. But for most people, living out of a suitcase for 6 months which is what I have just done, would be wearying. I think not having one place to hang my beanie for too long, has been part of the reason why I have been in a major funk recently. But, I also think that reaching a fork on my path, with an endless number of tines, has been overwhelming too. I can't seem to make any decision at all. It feels like I have to make the "right," decision, for myself, and that feels like a massive amount of responsibility for my life.

So right now, I am simply making tiny "right," decisions for myself to help with the big ones. I am trying to strengthen my intuition, so I can free myself from overthinking and unnecessary time spent deliberating. On that note, I am going to take myself to a spaghetti and meatball dinner, with a glass of Pinot Noir from the Sonoma Coast. That is a "right" decision that needs no deliberation from this Italian lady. 

Peace, Pasta and Meatballs 


Your Jess




This is a photo of me, at intermission in my most recent production of "Joy To The World," with Transcendence Theatre Company. 


This photo is of me and Spumoni the Donkey in the Sonoma Square...
just two Italian asses excited for Christmas. 

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