Fashion each part with care;
When it's strong as your hand can make it,
Put all your troubles there;
Hide there all thought of your failures,
And each bitter cup that you quaff;
Lock all your heartaches within it,
Then sit on the lid and laugh.
Tell no one else its contents,
Never its secrets share;
When you've dropped in your care and worry
Keep them forever there;
Hide them from sight so completely
That the world will never dream half;
Fasten the strongbox securely -
Then sit on the lid and laugh.
BERTHA ADAMS BACKUS
I read this poem months ago and have been saving it to post on just the right day. Yesterday we had a blizzard on the east coast, and it snowed for 24 hours. I was among the very few, I'm sure, who did not have to stress out about traveling somewhere yesterday or working. For that, I am eternally grateful. Truthfully, I'll probably get frustrated later on today while trying to travel, and forget all about my unending gratitude. So this is life.
"A snow chihuahua, is not a thing." - Alan (the chihuahua)
Around one year ago, I went through an incredibly sad break-up with a man I deeply loved, but could not see our future paths converging. I have never felt so physically weak in all of my life. For about 6 weeks, I moved the fastest I have ever moved, at countless musical theatre dance calls, during audition season. Then later on within the same day, I would expel these involuntary heavy sighs, and move in slow motion, like an ailing old woman.
It was then, in an attempt to build something in my shattered heart, that I began writing a gratitude journal. For this, I would like to give a big shout-out to actor/hunk, Sonny Parmar. He passed this idea on to me, and it has been my most treasured ritual. Almost every morning for the past year, I have sat down with a cup of coffee and written down 10 things I am presently grateful for. I used to to it before bed, that is before my grizzly and enlightened friend Nick Dalton, recommended that I begin the day with my gratitudes.
This past Friday, I had one of the worst days in regards to my profession. It made me question why I am choosing to live across the country from my family, paying too much for the shoe box of a room I'm subletting, if I am not going to succeed in my completely-unstable-though-deeply-rewarding-when-I-get-the-chance-to-have-the-one-Equity-dance-contract musical theater career?! Luckily, I had my trustee gratitude journal on me, and a borrowed pen. I wrote down 10 things I was grateful for. On of which was Molly Alvarez Booth telling me that "Snow is stupid," which made me laugh heartily and started the process of my funk dissipatiion. I also wrote down that I was grateful for Brian Morrison, telling me that he was "proud of me." Right afterward, I texted Jesse Gonzales that I needed an emergency Bare Burger Happy Hour, and he was right there without question. A collared greens wrapped beef burger and onion rings later, Jesse held up a french fry and said, "Life is like this fry," and my funk was officially swallowed and gone.
On this snowy day in NYC, I'm sure there will be unpleasantries. I'm sure you will experience frustration and ungrateful people. Just for today, lets try to bury our own ingratitudes under a snowy mound, then plop down on top smiling at the sun. Lets just lay there for a second and think of all of the stupid and hilarious things that your best friends have said to you...and then laugh. If we can do this and be grateful, we will have succeeded today.
Laughter, Tap Dancing and Hugs,
Your Jess
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