"Annabel Lee" a poem by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived who you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;--
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
She was a child and I was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee--
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud by night
Chilling my Annabel Lee;
So that her high-born kinsman came
And bore her away form me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me:--
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling
And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in Heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea--
In her tomb by the side of the sea.

EDGAR ALLAN POE

This is a photograph of The Edgar Allan Poe Cottage in Bronx, New York. 

This is the place when Poe penned "Annabel Lee." 

If Poe was still alive, and he and I were unlikely friends, I would have offered this insightful and nurturing quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald,

"There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice."

I recently discovered this quote, and it has provided much needed relief for me and also a nagging fear, that had I been exposed to this quote 6 months ago, my romantic life might have remained intact. I have realized that in the quest to love intensely and to reach my heart's personal maximum capacity for love, I somehow missed this very important insight. I had been cautioned not to compare my first great love, to my second great love, or to any of the other less significant relationships. But, I thought of it only in the terms of not comparing one to the other aloud, with the focus on the man's feelings and not my own. I had never considered thinking of the specific love that I shared with each individual man, as its own entity. I have never considered that I could love each man specifically and differently than all of the others. That my actions and reactions could be just as significant, interested and "in love", even if they looked and felt different than ever before. One thing I know is signature to me, is what my first love called "Angel Kisses." When I really feel strongly for a man, I will kiss his whole face lightly and with appreciation for every freckle and flaw. It usually happens in bed, in the morning. If I wake up and want to kiss your face all over, I know I love you.

I wish I could give Poe an "Angel Kiss" on the cheek, and let him know that another love is waiting for him. A love that will never be the same as that first love with Annabel Lee, and maybe not at all as intense and hopefully not as tragic. And because it is less intense and tragic, maybe he will feel as though it is not as significant, or he doesn't love this new woman as much. And I would gently tell him that this new woman, hard as he may try, will never have the capacity to be Annabel Lee. She will never love him the same, and he will never love her exactly the same way that he loved Annabel Lee. And that it is natural and necessary for healing, personal growth and romantic grit. Forcing your new love to love you the same as another, or forcing yourself to feel the same loving way that you did with your last love, will only lead to frustration and loneliness for all involved.

I can only move forward with a clean slate, without expectations, and hope to remember Fitzgerald's beautiful and gentle caution when approaching my next significant romantic opportunity. And also, vow not to allow myself to cling to the pleasure and love of a deceased relationship. I have two significant Kingdom's by the Sea, which I must bid farewell, and find my own Kingdom to be the Queen of.

With Love,

Jess